Sacrifice
by Somebody's Dark Angel
Summary: “It’s not fair for me to ask him to continue waiting when I’ve never shown him what I’m willing to do for us to be together.” Post-Rules of Engagement, Net.


**Sacrifice**

**By Somebody's Angel**

"You can't expect me to be superman." _Not even for you,_ was the clear ending to ET's comment, and Nav couldn't do anything other than watch him walk away.

He was right, she realised. It was almost a year ago that he'd promised to remain celibate in order to prove his feelings for her, and she trusted him when he said he hadn't done more than look at another woman since them.

The incident today with the Samaruan girl, Zuraya, had reinforced his position. Here was a beautiful young woman who had practically thrown herself at him, and yet he had denied her interest…admittedly there had been an initial misunderstanding, but he had resolved it as soon as possible.

It had also sent a resounding reality check to Nav herself. So far she hadn't actually been witness to other women being rebuffed by him, hadn't seen with her own eyes that he would willing reject another woman in favour of her. Today she had confronted him, and he had literally said 'I'm not interested' to Zuraya as soon as Nav finished her spiel.

ET had more than proved the distance he was prepared to go in order to be with her. But what had she done to show him she felt the same way he did?

Granted she didn't exactly have the reputation he did, but she had had her fair share of boyfriends, had even dated a little since he was posted to the ship. And yes she had also been celibate since he made the promise, though he hadn't made any such request of her.

_But then what happened when he completed the six months?_ She asked herself, walking down the wharf. _We went on one date, had one kiss, then he got shipped out._ And three weeks later, when he was transferred back to the Hammersley, it was she who had ended the relationship.

Yes they would have been risking their careers if they chose to continue the relationship whilst they were serving on the same ship…but the simple fact was that ET had been willing to take that risk, Nav hadn't.

And now she was expecting him to wait for her until…when? Until they were spontaneously given separate postings – something that was unlikely to happen unless someone specifically requested it? Until the Navy fraternisation rule was lifted or relaxed?

No, she hadn't explicitly asked him to remain true to her, but her reaction to Zuraya would definitely have sent him the message. She hadn't intended to react so…jealously, but the notion of him dating someone else had irked her. The Samaruan woman had gotten under her skin despite her best intentions; the woman was beautiful, forward and, above all, available.

_It's not fair,_ Nav sighed, tilting her head back and covering her eyes with her hand.

Suddenly she had an epiphany, and her head snapped back upright. "It's not fair for me to ask him to continue waiting when I've never shown him what I'm willing to do for us to be together."

"You talking to me?"

Nav hadn't realised she had spoken the words aloud, hadn't even realised she had hailed a cab until the voice came from the front seat. "Um, no, not you."

"Oh, OK then." The driver replied, pulling up to the kerb. "We're here, miss."

"Ah, where is…" Nav trailed off, looking at the house they had stopped in front of. She cracked up, covering her face with her hands and laughing hysterically. "Oh my god."

The driver looked at her strangely. "This is the right address, miss?"

Breathing deeply helped her regain her composure, "Yeah, this is fine."

Paying the taxi driver, Nav stepped from the cab and stood on the footpath outside ET's house.

It seemed Nav's subconscious was making the decision for her. Steeling herself, Nav made a decision and marched up to the front door.

……………………

ET had barely opened the door before the woman grasped a handful of his shirt, and pushed him backwards. The next thing he knew he was against the wall, battling against her tongue for dominance while coming to terms of the length of her body pressed suggestively against his.

He knew it was Nav the second her lips touched his – it was like coming home. As confused as he was with her sudden change of heart – not half an hour ago she had asked him to wait for her – his body reacted to hers in a way it hadn't ever reacted to anyone. He smiled into her kiss, and leaned forward a bit, gaining a touch of leverage over her, before wrapping his arm around her waist, lifting her effortlessly and flipping her around, slamming her against the spot on the wall where she had had him pinned moments ago. She groaned softly against his mouth at the blunt pressure, but she wrapped her legs around his hips and pulled him closer.

It was only when Nav began unbuttoning his shirt that ET pulled away. Much as he would _love_ to do this with her, he couldn't understand her reasoning – why had she suddenly decided that their relationship was worth risking their careers, especially since she had been against it not so long ago.

"Nikki…" he trailed off when he saw her slightly flushed face, messy hair and lips swollen from his kiss. In that moment she was more beautiful than he had ever seen her.

"I love you."

The statement shocked them both; ET could tell that Nav hadn't intended to spout it out like that, and Nav knew that it was the last thing he had been expecting her to say.

Before ET could recover his powers of speech, Nav told him of her realisation. "I want to be with you, and I haven't given you any reason to keep waiting. It's not fair for me to expect you to prove your commitment when I've done nothing but step back every time you step forward." She held up a hand to stop him from interrupting, certain that if she didn't get it all out at once she would lose her nerve. "I'm going to transfer off the Hammersley."

If her declaration of love had stunned him, this statement blew him away. He gaped at her, soundlessly opening and closing his mouth, for several minutes, leaning against the wall for support.

"Nikki, I…" Again he trailed off, this time because he couldn't think of a response. A thousand things ran through his brain, but in the end he just slid down the wall into a sitting position.

She knelt before him, staring into his eyes. "You've gone without sex for almost a year, just to prove how you feel about me. And what have I done to show you? I wouldn't leave the crew, I broke us up when you came back, I nearly got you killed!" She blinked back the tears that were pooling in her hazel eyes, but one escaped and left a shining trail down her cheek.

He wiped away the moisture, but didn't attempt anything else, somehow knowing that she wouldn't accept any comfort.

Shaking her head, she composed herself and continued the explanation. "We can't have a relationship while we're on the same ship, so I'm going to request a new posting."

"But…but you love working with Mike."

She smiled, one of those huge smiles that showed both her dimples and made him want to kiss her senseless. "True. But I love you more." The words were much easier to say the second time, and this time it wasn't as shocking to ET.

He returned her smile, leaning forward and resting his hands on her thighs, "I love you too, Nikki."

She kissed him softly, covering his hands with her own. "I don't know when, but I promise I'm going to do everything I can to make this transfer happen as soon as possible."

"Na-Nikki, are you sure about this? I don't want you to regret this in a couple years when your career hasn't gone the way you planned it."

"I don't know about my career, but I do know that I'll definitely regret not trying out this relationship." He opened his mouth to protest once again, and she put a finger to his lips. "Please Josh. You've done so much to prove your commitment to me, and I want to show you that I'm just as dedicated to making this work."

He resigned himself to the fact that she wasn't going to back down, and sighed heavily. "OK, I get it, you've made up your mind. Just promise me one thing." He paused until she nodded, staring into his eyes without blinking. "Promise you'll never blame me-us for ruining your career."

"I won't." The answer was out almost before he could finish the sentence, but she refrained from further explanation, knowing that her life plan wasn't something he was up to discussing just yet. She moved to sit beside him, leaning against him and resting her head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around hers.

They sat there, on the floor of his hallway, for over 30 minutes, just enjoying the closeness, the contact that they were denied while on the ship. Even though they had previously had shore leave together, the ambiguousness of their relationship had caused them to avoid spending time alone together. Nav knew it was more her than him; she was afraid of what would happen if they were alone in a room together and no-one was likely to walk in on them. Even when ET was in hospital after the incident with the bird-flu boat, Nav visited with Bomber and Spider, not alone. But now that they had come to a conclusion, of sorts, Nav couldn't will herself away from the safety and security she felt in his arms.

THE END


End file.
